If youre ever in Ms. Gordons Catskills neighborhood when the power goes out, knock on her neighbors door. Rather than use mass care authorities like the Red Cross to craft her survival tips (published in the Huffington Post), she relies on the National Resource Defense Councils (NRDC) Preparing for Disaster checklist.

To her credit, Ms. Gordon knows that shelf stable canned or pouched tuna is a lifesaver when the electricity goes out (which is why supermarket shelves look like this before a hurricane). But in a moment of irony, Ms. Gordon shifts from preparedness to paranoia, fearing not only the impending storm but trace amounts of naturally occurring mercury found in tuna.

Why is it that Im thinking the 1.7 million people who lost power in the Gulf during Hurricane Katrina and had no clean drinking water to sustain themselves with while sifting through the $100 billion in losses, were not kicking themselves for failing to head to Whole Foods for boutique canned tuna before the storm?

Death toll from Katrina; 2,000. Death toll from canned tuna; Zero.

Just sayin.